Bill Patrick on Life…

 

Somehow Bill Patrick isn’t a superstar. It’s probably and sadly because he doesn’t produce, but instead tours the globe only as DJ. A fine one, too, if you ask us, and one who doesn’t rely on the latest club smash to get you where he wants you. Instead, house and techno from across the ages are woven together by him sans even the slightest prejudice.

 

What’s more, the Berlin based American is one of the funniest people we know. As such, when we tackled him for an interview, we thought we’d try and exploit that by eliciting his views on life, love, lust and more, rather than just plying him with the same old music related questions: even if we do say so ourselves, we think it worked out rather well…

 

 

Being an American is….?

The fucking best!! Americaaaa!! Freedom!! Lady Liberty!! USA! USA! OK OK…seriously, I fucking hate all that rah rah flag waving bullshit, in any country, not just America. Patriotism is the worst. Well, I mean, you can be proud of living somewhere and proud of being American or German or Hungarian but it’s the whole chanting and getting aggressive with your pride that I fucking hate.

 

It’s like, shut up, you’re basically having an orgasm over dirt. So to answer your question, being an American is cool I guess – I don’t get hassled at borders. People generally want me to come into their country. I don’t need a visa to get into most countries, that’s nice. I feel bad for South Americans however. They don’t have it as good as us Northerners.

 

The place I like the most is…?

Um, the place I like the most is probably my bed. I feel safe there. It’s also walking distance from everything I will ever need, like my computer and the bathroom and the kitchen. No wait, “my bed” is a shit answer. The place I like the most is anywhere my friends are. Unless of course they are in Ibiza at a club. Fuck Ibiza clubs. How bout we stuff 8,000 people into a steaming hot piece of shit club, charge €20 for a 3oz bottle of water, charge €80 at the door, have a bunch of jerk off, small penis, steroid fuelled bouncers walking around ready to punch someone at a moments notice and also pay the DJ’s €200 all in. Sound fun?

 

I love my girlfriend because…?

She is funnier than me (sometimes). Her taste in non dance music is better than anyone else’s. She lovingly calls me a “piece of shit” (which I then got tattooed on my wrist as a surprise for her). Also, she’s beautiful and smart and knows how much of a weirdo I am and deals with it. She’s essentially the best.

 

 

The sound I like the most is….?

Ed Droste’s (grizzly bear) voice. My infatuation with him is reaching dangerous levels. Nothing gay or anything, but I just love his voice and the band so much. Ok maybe a little gay. But like snuggles…and him gently singing to me. That’s all!! You guys, seriously, I have a girlfriend.

 

The thing which makes me happiest is…?

Getting high. JOKES! Again, just kidding. Could you imagine? I’m all like yeah, that’s what makes me happy, snorting K and shooting heroin, fuck you. This is true for somebody out there. Sad. But for me I would say being with my friends and DJing together. Or just hanging out and laughing with a good group of mates. The little things.

 

If you gave me a million dollars I would…?

Set the record for the fastest person to spend a million dollars. Ok wait, that sounds like I can run really fast. But you know what I mean. Seriously, I spend money on stuff. But I have impeccable taste, so the money goes faster. I would definitely take care of the people around me. Well, I would try my best to take care of them. A million dollars isn’t a lot of money these days. Are we talking dollars or euros?

 

I wish….?

I wish I could get paid as much as Tiesto and still manage to play the same music I play now. I also wish I could sit still and relax for a few hours.

 

In the movie of my life, I would be played by….?

I’ve always thought this was such a shallow question. I mean, you always hear this being asked and then someone is like “Oh my God, Julia Roberts would totally play me!” and the girl saying it is a complete pig who looks nothing like Julia Roberts. The same for guys who think Brad Pitt would play them. Not happening, nerd. I would say a hybrid of Philip Seymour Hoffman and Ricky Gervais would play me. And a little bit of Samantha from Sex in the City.

 

The truth about being a DJ is….?

We’re all super insecure. The bigger a DJ you are, the more insecure you are. This is probably obvious to everyone. Next time some DJ starts spewing from the mouth about how many gigs they’ve played and where they travelled and what interview they did please tell them 1. All I said was “Hello.” 2. Walk away.

 

 

Religion makes me….?

Religion, is not for me. If you believe in God and that makes you happy, then sure, enjoy that. But if you start talking about Jesus and God and telling people to do this and that because God said he’ll make your wishes come true, then you and I are gonna have a problem. I recently saw someone put something up about God doing something amazing for you if you “repost this message” on Facebook.

 

So basically, God is up there in the sky, taking all these requests from people to help them find their keys and to help them hit that home run but he finds time to also check Facebook to see who reposted that fucking message so he can do some amazing God shit for them. Do you hear what I’m saying here?? God has a Facebook page. Yeah, religion….

 

The best way to piss me off is…?

See above. Also people with zero common sense and no manners really piss me off. I have no patience for these people. Take a second to survey your surroundings and figure out what the best possible option is for your next move in life. Common sense: Figuring shit out by just thinking and using your brain. It’s not that hard. Even after all the drugs you’ve done, you should have this figured out by now. But you’d be surprised how many people lack this special human feature.

 

My most prised possession is…?

My brain. My eyes too. I have nice eyes. Ok, but I’m not that shallow. I’m not very materialistic so I don’t own anything that I really value. My most prised possession are the people I surround myself with. That kinda comes across as if I own these people. Which would then make them slaves. And in a way, they are. Weird.

 

Music makes me…?

Cry. So many times. I cry all the time when listening to music. How fucking emo is that? I love music more than anything. That’s such a gay cliché thing to say. But really, music is my life and I would never have experienced 1/8 of the things that have made me happy if it wasn’t for music.

 

The weirdest thing I ever did see was….?

Hmm..I lived in NY for most of my adult life so I’ve seen some shit. But once, there was this star in the sky and it was twinkling red. Weird.

 

My worst habit is…?

Being lazy. I don’t even feel like saying anything else about that.

 

Everyone should…?

Reach for the stars. Really, follow your dreams. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. Fuck listening to anyone else. You don’t have to go to college. You don’t have to work some shit job that makes you miserable. You don’t have to watch what you say. You don’t have to pay taxes. You…wait…what am I saying? Just find what makes you happy and never stop doing it.

 

 

But you should never…?

Listen to anything I say.

 

I never tell anyone, but the thing I’m really most afraid of is…?

Surviving a plane crash in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Actually, I have told lots of people that. I’m probably most afraid of never reaching 10,000 fans on Facebook. All my friends have at least 10,000 and I only have 5,000. It eats me up inside.

 

I haven’t got my ass in gear and produced anything yet because… ????

This fucking question. Um, well, plenty of reasons. Laziness being one. Perfectionist being another. Afraid of what people have to say…no way, just kidding. I could care less about these sheep. And by sheep I don’t mean my fans. I mean the people who can’t think for themselves. Obviously if you are a fan of mine, you have thought it out and made this commitment without anyone else’s help. So thank you. I will make a track soon. And it will be the greatest piece of music ever made. Or not.

 

I am best mates with them all, but I’m not actually in Visionquest because….?

It’s not my project. They started this years ago, before I was even friends with them. So it would kinda be like Marky Mark joining New Kids On The Block just because he was super tight with them. But he actually had his own career going on. Did his own thing. And look at him now. He’s a fucking movie star and created Entourage (worst show ever.) So yeah, I’m like Marky Mark, without the muscles.

 

The thing about Seth and me is…

We play progressive house. We make a “?” with our hands to signal when to play a prog track. This happened one day when we were playing and I turned to him and was like “is this prog?” So now we just use hand signals to communicate. It’s glorious. When we play together it’s always fire. There’s just a really good understanding and respect between us and we know how to manoeuvre through a set with ease. Plus he knows I’m a better DJ than him. Which makes things a lot easier.

 

At heart, I am a misunderstood….?

Despite the hard exterior I do have a soft inside. I love puppies and cute things and I love doing romantic things and I also love life.

 

If you take only one thing from this interview it is that… ?

I am a very nice person who would like to be your friend, but it’s probably best we don’t.

 

 

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